Can I be a gay Christian?
What does the bible say about homosexuality, and why does it matter?
This topic is highly debated in the world today, and there are plenty of voices who loudly proclaim to speak for God. When answering the question about homosexuality, we can’t look inward for answers, and we shouldn’t take a poll from culture; as Christians, we have to look to scripture alone. But why answer this question in the first place? Shouldn’t we just let people live their lives and love whoever they want and stay out of their bedrooms? When it comes to what is sin and what is not sin the stakes couldn’t be higher. Our view of sin and practice of it is directly connected to our relationship with God. 1 John 3:6 says, “…anyone who keeps on sinning does not know Him or understand who He is.” You and I can’t live in sin while claiming to follow Jesus. So, we must ask, “What does the Bible say about homosexuality?”
There are six passages in the Bible that clearly talk about homosexuality, and in each and every case, it is described as sin. Below, I’ll list the references and then make small commentary on the verses.
Read all of Genesis 19 (story of Sodom and Gomorrah)
The verse here in Jude summarizes the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah as immorality and sexual perversion. Because of these sins, they were destroyed.
Jude 1:7 NLT And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.
Leviticus 18:22 NLT “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
This verse is clear: homosexuality is a sin.
Leviticus 20:13 NLT If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.
This verse is also clear: homosexuality is a sin.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NLT Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.
This verse is clear: homosexuality, as well as many other sexual perversions, are a sin. And those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God, aka go to heaven.
1 Timothy 1:10 NLT The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching
Paul reaffirms that homosexuality is a sin.
Romans 1:26-27 NLT That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.
Homosexuality and lesbianism are listed as sinful practices.
God’s standard for sex
God created sex as a gift to be used and enjoyed. But the gift of sex was designed to be in the context and confines of a loving covenant called marriage. Marriage was designed to be between one man and one woman for life. Any sex outside of those confines is a sin (Colossians 3:5, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Hebrews 13:4). Think of it like a fire. A fire can be wonderful when it’s in the confines of a fire pit. But place that fire in your living room, and what was beautiful outside is now destructive inside your home. This is sex. In the confines of marriage between one man and one woman for one lifetime, it’s wonderful. Outside of those boundaries, it has the power to burn down your whole life.
Ok, but can I be a gay Christian?
All of us are tempted to use sex outside of the confines of marriage. This is true for those with same-sex attractions and those who don’t have that struggle. Let me be clear: it is NOT a sin to be tempted. Just because you struggle with same-sex attraction, it does not mean that temptation is a sin. I’m tempted to do things I know are wrong all the time, but the temptation to sin is not itself a sin. When it comes to homosexuality, it’s only when you act on those temptations or fantasize about those temptations (that’s called the sin of lust) that it becomes a sin.
Now that we’ve shown homosexual behavior to be a sin, the question we must ask ourselves is, can someone live in sin without repentance and be a true Christian? NO (For a longer explanation of this statement, READ THIS). There is no such thing as someone who lives a homosexual lifestyle without repenting who has been born again. This is true, not just of homosexual sin, but of all sin. Unrepentant sin is unforgiven sin. Before you freak out, let me define what I mean. Unrepentant sin is when someone denies that what they are doing is sinful. They see nothing wrong with it, continue to do it and feel no remorse after it. You cannot practice or live in unrepentant sin and claim you love God. It’s simply not true (See Matthew 7). Jesus is the one who said, if you love me, you’ll obey me. A byproduct of our love is our obedience to Jesus.
But I’m fighting sin, and I occasionally fall. Does that mean I’m not a true Christian?
Scripture tells us to fight the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life. The life of following Jesus is one of falling, fighting, getting back up, pursuing Jesus, and falling all over again. Romans 7 perfectly shows us Paul’s fight of faith. He struggles to do what he knows is right and does what he knows is wrong. That fight is what it means to follow Jesus. You fight. You fall. You get back up. And God, in His grace, empowers you to keep fighting! Christians don’t live a life of sinless perfection. We sin. We fall. We get back up, and we keep fighting! It’s your fight against sin that shows your new nature is at work!
I struggle with same-sex attraction and want to follow Jesus. What should I do?
If you’ve made it this far and this is you, I’m so proud of you! Our culture tells you how much people who disagree with homosexuality are hate-filled bigots. This couldn’t be further from my heart. You are loved by God. You are called by God. And God has a plan for your life. I would tell you to fight this sin the same way you fight any sin.
Admit when you sin. The beginning of all freedom from sin begins by admitting and confessing your sin. We first confess our sins to God, and second, we confess our sins to another brother/sister in Christ. I’d caution you to be careful with this. While I believe it’s Biblical and helpful to confess your sin to another. There are Christians who, unfortunately, wouldn’t handle your confession with the grace and compassion it deserves. Consider opening up to a pastor or someone you know who overcame the same sin you struggle with.
Minimize your exposure to the temptation. You may be most tempted in a certain place or with certain people or when you watch certain things. You have to know yourself and minimize the people, places, and things that are most tempting to you. This may mean you need some new shows to watch, new music to listen to and some new friends to hang out with.
Pray for self-control. One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is self-control. Therefore, pray and ask God to give you self-control. You can overcome your sin. You can mature and grow. Keep asking. Keep praying. Keep seeking, and God will help you walk in freedom.
Commit to a celibate lifestyle while praying for new desires. I’d love to tell you your same-sex attraction will magically disappear once you choose to follow Jesus. But to this day, I’m still tempted to be dishonest. Still tempted with pride and selfishness. And God still works with me, empowers me, and gives me the grace to fight those temptations. You may always be tempted with your sin as well, but keep fighting!
Remember these words in Hebrews 12:1-4 NLT Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. 3 Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. 4 After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.
Common questions and objections to homosexuality being a sin
Why would God give me this same-sex attraction if I wasn’t supposed to act on it?
All of us are born with sinful desires. We are born with the desire to do things that the Bible defines as sin. If we simply look to our natural desires as evidence that God wants that for us, then where does the line stop? What about the person whose natural desire is for violence? What about the person whose natural desire is to lie? Sleep around? Steal? The list is endless. Just because you have a desire for something doesn’t mean God wants you to follow those desires. Not only that, scripture tells us we are dead because of our sins, and we must be born again. We all have natural desires and we must all deny those in order to please God.
Wasn’t the word homosexuality added much later to our modern translations?
This is technically true but is very misleading. In the passages I listed above, they use the word homosexuality. In older translations (before 1946), they don’t use that word; they simply describe the actions of homosexuality. Older translations will say it’s wrong for a man to lie with a man like he would lie with a woman. While that phrase doesn’t use the word homosexuality, it’s obviously talking about homosexuality. The idea that homosexuality was a sin has been in the Bible since it was written.
The homosexuality in the Bible isn’t the loving, lifelong relationships we have today. Doesn’t the Bible then condemn a different version of homosexuality (mainly rape and pedophilia) than what is practiced today?
There are groups of people who claim that when the Bible talks about homosexuality, it’s only referring to homosexual rape or pedophilia. This simply isn’t true. In the list of scriptures at the top of this blog, there are two passages that refute this idea. In Leviticus 20:13, it says that both men involved in the homosexual act are punished. If this was describing a crime committed against someone, why would the victim be punished? In addition to that, Romans 1 condemns lesbianism, a sexual sin not commonly associated with rape or pedophilia. In both instances, the Bible is clearly condemning homosexuality as we know it today.
But Jesus never talked about homosexuality. Are we sure it’s wrong?
Jesus also never talked about rape, porn, or bestiality. Are you sure you want to use the argument that if Jesus didn’t talk about it, then it’s not wrong? But it’s also not really true that Jesus never talked about it. He condemned all sexual sin, and the culture He was talking to knew God’s standard that all sex outside of marriage between one man and one woman was sin. Not only that, but Jesus is also part of the Godhead. What God condemns in scripture, Jesus condemns because He and the Father are one.
A closing warning to Christians
There are two extremes Christians take on the topic of homosexuality. They either say nothing because they don’t want to be seen as judgmental, or we aggressively attack those who are in the LGBTQ+ community as if their sin is the worst of all sins.
To the first group, let me say you can and should love everyone. That is what it means to follow Jesus. But loving people is not turning a blind eye to their sins. People will not repent from a sin they do not believe is a sin. Your job and my job is to love well and speak the truth. Pretending it’s not wrong and not your job to judge is to abdicate your responsibility as a believer. You are to be an ambassador for Jesus to the world around you. You do so by loving well and refusing to allow people to believe a lie. Remember, it’s the truth that sets people free. People are headed to a Christless eternity, and if we are to love them well, we should warn them and call them to repentance and to follow Jesus.
To the second group. Scripture says it’s the kindness of God that leads people to repentance. If God gets people to change based on His kindness, shouldn’t we take that same approach? I’m not talking about ignoring truth. I’m not talking about being ashamed of what the Bible says. I’m saying you can speak the truth in love. When it comes to speaking the truth, we have to recognize that it’s our love and grace that build a bridge for truth to walk over. Therefore, be kind. Be gracious. And speak the truth.