Yes. In fact, that's the only way Jesus ever loved anyone, including you.
Ever feel like there are only two options on just about every topic? Something gets said over dinner, or someone drops a bomb in the group chat, and it feels like you have to pick a side. And whichever side you pick costs you something. Faith can feel the same way. Option one: stand on the truth and come off harsh. Option two: love people and let go of the truth.
But both of those options are ditches. Jesus warned about them: "Watch out; beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod" (Mark 8:15 ESV).
The Pharisees' ditch is a legalistic, rule-based, try-harder religion. It's quick to point out everyone else's sin and slow to look in the mirror. It makes you proud, or it makes you hide. And it turns other people into measuring sticks.
Herod's ditch is a law-free, feelings-based, whatever-makes-you-happy religion. Don't judge. Everybody's good. You do you. It feels like love, but it's a counterfeit, because it leaves people exactly where it found them. It makes you a coward and calls it love. You watch someone you care about walk toward a cliff, say nothing, and call it acceptance. Real love risks the relationship for the person. This ditch risks the person to protect the relationship.
They look like opposites, but they're twins. One gives you a God who's impossible to please. The other gives you a God who's impossible to disappoint. Neither God is real, and neither one can set anyone free.
There's a better way
In John 8, religious leaders dragged a woman caught in adultery in front of Jesus and demanded He choose: stone her, or break God's law. It was a trap, and every road led to a ditch.
Jesus refused both. He didn't pick up a stone, and He didn't pretend her sin didn't matter. First He cleared the courtyard: "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her" (John 8:7 ESV). Then, once she was safe, He said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 ESV).
Grace first. Then truth. Safe first. Free second. Grace built the bridge that truth could walk across.
That's not a trick Jesus pulled that day. It's who He is: "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14 ESV). Not a sprinkle of grace and a book of truth. Not a warm hug of grace and a cold handshake of truth. Fully both.
So what does that look like with the people in my life?
Love them first, and make sure they know it. Show up. Listen. Be the safest person in their life. People can tell whether you're for them.
It's ok to take it slow and earn the right to speak. Truth lands best inside a relationship. If you've never asked how they're doing, they probably won't want your opinion on how they're living.
Tell the truth when it matters, kindly and once. "Speaking the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15 ESV). You don't have to bring it up at every family dinner.
Remember where you came from. Every one of us has been the woman on the ground. We were all lifted up by the same nail-scarred hands.
You might be thinking, "If I don't say anything, aren't I approving it?" No. Loving someone isn't the same as agreeing with every choice they make. God loves you without approving of everything you do. And He doesn't leave you there either.
Scripture: Mark 8:15; John 8:2–11, 32; John 1:14, 17; Ephesians 4:15