Slow enough that you know who they are before you're attached to how they make you feel.
What dating is for
The purpose of dating is to get to know someone well enough to answer the question: Do I want to spend the rest of my life with you? If you're not open to marriage, don't date.
And you can only get to know someone over an extended period of time. That's why I think you should be friends for a while before you go on a date. Take time to really get to know someone. Look for godliness. Look for maturity.
Guard your heart while you vet their character
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).
Following your heart is like running down a steep hill. You're going to lose control, and you're going to get hurt. Guarding your heart is like patiently walking down that same hill. You're still moving forward; you're just doing it under control.
How do you know if you're going too fast? Ask yourself:
Do I know them as a person, and their character, more than I know them emotionally?
Do I know more about how they make me feel than who they are?
Three ways to slow it down
Watch how often you talk, text and spend time together. Don't spend all day, every day with them or texting them while you're still getting to know them. Megan and I went on our first date on February 7. Valentine's Day was seven days later. You know what I did for her on Valentine's Day? Nothing. We'd been on one date, and I wasn't going to let a holiday speed up our relationship.
Watch how much you talk about your feelings and your future together. Keep them at arm's length emotionally while you get to know them. Don't fantasize about your future on the first date. I know he's cute, but you don't know him. If you've never seen how he responds when he's angry, slow down your emotions.
Watch how physical you are. Physical closeness blinds you to the reality of the relationship. If you're physical every time you're together, your relationship is way more shallow than you think. She may be a great kisser, but do you know her character?
You might be thinking, "But when you know, you know." Maybe. But if you really know, you'll still know in six months. Taking your time doesn't cost you the right person. Rushing can cost you years with the wrong one.
Scripture: Proverbs 4:23; Ruth 2–3